I really gave Oblivion a chance

I really did. I just can’t get into this game. I know it’s been three years since it came out, but I’ve only recently started getting into newer games.

In case you’re lost, the game I’m referring to is The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. It’s a multiplatform game that I’ve been trying to play on the PC (because games are better on the PC, bitch) and I’m about two, maybe three hours in. Plenty of that time was spent wandering around wondering where the fuck I was going.

The setting is simple. It’s a medieval world with magic and people who look like fucking tigers from time to time. There’s a king who has a vision of this place called Oblivion (which is actually an odd name choice, considering the meaning behind the word) and he is dying or something. It’s been too long since I played the beginning. All I remember is that I was a prisoner in this king’s dungeon, they let me out (which makes no fucking sense–how do they know I’m not going to seek revenge, hmm?) and I proceed to escape the dungeon.

Oh, and I think I’m the only bastard lucky enough to get out too. Ironic, huh? The prisoner gets away, but the people who helped the poor sap out are SOL.

Anywho, after giving back a frickin’ sweet sword I’d gotten off of a dead soldier (me = disappointed at this point) I then get my actual mission. I need to go meet some dude and help him out because he’s the heir to the kingdom… or something.

I then proceed to go down the endless road to the next city and get jumped by a bandit or two, one of which was one of those half-tiger people I referred to earlier. The fights were pretty boring. Click click click. Dodge, slash, shield, cure, etc. Simple stuff all the way down.

I later found my goal and was given another mission. Another “go tell this guy something” mission. I got bored at this point and tried to kill a monk who had formerly been a soldier. The fucker pulled out a sword and killed me in about three hits.

It goes on like this for quite awhile. But if you’ve been paying attention you’ll notice I left something out: who I am and my role in the story.

There’s a reason for that.

Who are you? – A nobody. Some guy who got roped into this because he was the only person around when the king was dying.

What is your role in the story? – To kill shit between point A and point B and play messenger-boy as far as I’m concerned. Also, to singlehandedly kill the princes of Oblivion. That’s right – by myself. Hardly makes sense to me that the princes of what is essentially hell would be taken down so easily by a common prisoner.

So, as of today, I’m officially done with the game. I’m lucky that I was able to use a free version of the game to try it out, because I really thought I would enjoy it. I was sadly mistaken.

I guess all I can do at this point is say “Oh well” and move on. At least it gives me plenty of time to finish Mass Effect now, eh?